Linkedin.com 링크드인 awkward wordings

source: http://www.linkedin.com/home?trk=hb_tab_home_top
target: http://www.linkedin.com/nhome/?trk=hb_tab_home_top&_l=ko_KR

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The alien term 비즈니스인 really bothers me.
“share your knowledge and help your network”: Awkward passive verb form in target 특별 소개되세요 which literally means “be introduced specially.” The sentence 전문가가 되어… 되세요 is completely broken.

 

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“your company” is translated into “우리 회사 (our company)” to deliver the direct tone to the site members, but the subject 우리 just doesn’t fit in context. 고객님/회원님(customer/member) would be sufficient. As an alternative, the subject can be omitted in context.
“create one now” sounds also literal due to the dictionary meaning of the verb “create.”

 

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Another English structure in target: “you have 0 open questions.”
0개의 답변을 기다리고 있는 질문 is a broken structure since the number comes first in the sentence and modified “답변 (answers).” This is a typical awkward wording for inanimated subjects. The structure can always be rephrased to make translated structures flow.

 

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